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Should Christians Hang Around Gays?

What does God say about Christians hanging out with people that are gay? Is it okay? Does God expect us to avoid them? The truth is, the answer remains the same no matter what sin we insert. It’s the same answer for gays as it is drunkards, as adulterers, as liars, and thieves.

But what’s the answer?

The answer is yes, no, and it depends. Let’s look at what God teaches us about this.

But first, let me be clear.

1 Corinthians 5:9-13

 I wrote to you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people;

Now, if we stop there, we end up with man’s doctrine, but not Gods. We need to continue reading the next few verses to see what Paul’s writing.

10 I did not at all mean with the sexually immoral people of this world, or with the greedy and swindlers, or with idolaters, for then you would have to leave the world.

Paul just gave a small list of sins. In other words, his message doesn’t just apply to sexually immoral people. It applies to every kind of sin. Now notice, Paul is explicitly telling us he is NOT calling us to avoid unbelievers who commit these sins.

But why not? It’s because you can’t expect someone in darkness to know sin is bad. We should not expect anything less from someone who does not have the holy spirit in them. And, how can they be saved if avoid them? Do we think they’re just going to roll into church one day? They need to hear about Jesus, and they need to see Jesus living in and through us. Prostitutes, drunkards, you name it. They need the same thing you and I needed to change our behavior. Maybe you got saved at 10, but some people get saved at 30, 50, and even on their death bed.

But what about Christians who commit these sins? Can you associate with them? And again, the answer is yes, no, and it depends.

11 But actually, I wrote to you not to associate with any so-called brother if he is a sexually immoral person, or a greedy person, or an idolater, or is verbally abusive, or habitually drunk, or a swindler—not even to eat with such a person.

So, Paul is saying the world can’t help but live in darkness. We can’t ignore them. We are a light to them. But if someone calls themselves a Christian and lives a life of habitual sin and shows no remorse, then ARE to judge them, and not associate with them. Let me be clear, Paul is not talking about the person who gets drunk a couple of times. He’s not talking about someone watching rated R movies. Don’t abuse Paul’s message. Paul is talking about people who habitually sin, and have absolutely no remorse for it. Not only that, he’s talking about people who are cocky about their sins. Not seeing it as a struggle, but instead abusing their freedom in Christ and making a mockery of the Church. I show an example of this in a moment.

12 For what business of mine is it to judge outsiders? Do you not judge those who are within the church? 13 But those who are outside, God judges. Remove the evil person from among yourselves.

So, we ARE called to judge people. But ONLY judge Christians. This is not judging their salvation. That’s God’s role. Also, we are not called to be militant jerks and acting all superior every time someone doesn’t walk a perfect line. That is NOT what God is calling us to do.

Now, just rewind a couple of verses to see the example Paul was giving. This is a guy you remove from the church and don’t eat with. Again, this is not some guy who got drunk a couple of times. This is not some guy who struggles with porn in secret. This is not some gay person that acknowledges their sin and really wants to overcome it.

This person is:

1-doing things that even atheists don’t do.

2-He is not ashamed, and the church isn’t either.

Let’s read the verses.

1 Corinthians 5:1-6

5 It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and sexual immorality of such a kind as does not exist even among the Gentiles, namely, that someone has his father’s wife. 2 You have become arrogant and have not mourned instead, so that the one who had done this deed would be removed from your midst.

So what do we see here? We see this is not some small deal. It’s not the church overreacting like so many tyrant Christians do. They are not looking down their nose acting all high and mighty.

The person is doing something that NO EVEN the Gentiles do. In other words, even unbelievers don’t engage in this kind of sin. That’s is our context. And, not only is this a huge sin, but this church is giving hearty approval of it. They are ARROGANT.

3 For I, on my part, though absent in body but present in spirit, have already judged him who has so committed this, as though I were present. 4 In the name of our Lord Jesus, when you are assembled, and I with you in spirit, with the power of our Lord Jesus, 5 I have decided to turn such a person over to Satan for the destruction of his body, so that his spirit may be saved on the day of the Lord.

So again, this blows this garbage of ‘don’t judge me’ out of the water. We are called to throw people out of the church who flaunt their sin. This is NOT God judging them. This is human judgment. The church is not to be made a mockery of.

Now, this now a picture of a gay person coming to church, being respectful. This is not some guy that struggles with alcohol, acknowledges it, but comes to church and shows remorse. This would be more like gay people holding hands in church. Or, a married guy actively committing adultery. A drunkard coming to church drunk. And again, these are people who not only sin, which we ALL do, but they do it all the time and they are arrogant about it.

Your boasting is not good. Do you not know that a little leaven leavens the whole lump of dough?

And we close again seeing this cocky attitude. They are boasting. Yes, we are free in Christ. ALL things are permissible (See 1 Cor 10:23). But we should not use our freedom to insult to church.

What am I saying? Believing Gays are indeed just as saved as I am. So are adulterers. Liars. And any other sinner. They are free in Christ to do anything they want to do, but that does not mean we should let them embarrass the church.

We are dead to sin. But we all stumble in many ways. The church is a public gathering of believers. We need to show grace. Lots of it. Let’s not throw grace out the window and use God’s words against Him. God has a lot more to say about grace and mercy than he does about throwing people out of churches.  But there are boundaries. Just don’t be a jerk and put boundaries 2 feet in front of you.

God bless you all.

Author: Mike Cynar

Mike Cynar was raised in a church setting where he frequently noticed that many attendees would eventually drift away. The church labeled these individuals as ‘back sliders’ or ‘fake Christians’ just looking for ‘fire insurance’. However, Mike realized the issue was rarely with these individuals but instead with the church’s message itself. The teachings heavily emphasized behavior improvement and one’s flaws, with only a fleeting mention of one’s identity in Christ. It felt as though every sermon was tailored to the church of Corinth, who as we know or committing sins that even unbelievers don’t partake in. This trend was noticeable not just in one denomination, but across Baptist, Catholic, Pentecostal, and many other churches. Upon understanding the true essence of the gospel – that our righteousness comes from Jesus’ actions, not our own – Mike was inspired to liberate believers from lifeless sermons and reconnect them with the genuine teachings of Jesus. He believes that one can nurture a vibrant and growing bond with Jesus, unhindered by rigid religious practices. And thus, “Jesus Without Religion” was born.

It turns out that it is grace that leads to repentance. And if our heart is to get others to walk in the Spirit and live a godly life, then the best approach is not a beat down sermon, but rather to remind other that it is only when we understand our true identity in Christ that we will live it out. Yes, it’s true, if you’re convinced that God thinks you’re a dirty sinner, you will ultimately continue a lifestyle that mirrors that view, but if you truly believe that even on your worst day, you are called holy, sanctified, justified, and will be presented blameless in the end, well, it turns out this is the secret to living out on the outside what has been worked in to the inside.


  • Barry Posted September 15, 2022 6:21 pm

    Two gay people seeking to build their relationship with Jesus Christ, including by attending church, who hold hands in church, are sinning? Holding hands is a sin that deserves shunning? Holding hands is not lustful, or shameful. Two homosexuals who hold hands in church many not even be in a sexual relationship. What if two unmarried heterosexuals hold hands in church? Is that a sin? Is loving another human being EVER a sin?
    I am new in examining more closely my growing faith, so I am reading a LOT of sources and there are arguments and interpretations out there that do not agree with this.

    • Mike C Posted September 16, 2022 11:29 am

      In general, holding hands does not deserve shunning. For that matter, me drinking a beer doesn’t deserve shunning. But it does if I do it at the church.

      You’ve come to a Christian website and you’re arguing about whether or not it’s appropriate for two homosexuals to hold hands at the church.

      I do not subscribe to the idea that there is no difference between two homosexuals holding hands in the church and two heterosexuals holding hands. I am quite certain there is a big difference in how I feel towards my son if I were holding his hand, vs a homosexual holding his/her lovers hand. So no, it’s not appropriate. I have not taken any position on what they do outside of the church. And nor will I. That’s their business, and they can decide for themselves.

      Also, in terms of God’s view, I’m not going join you in conflating love for other people (friends, family, co-workers, etc) with homosexual love.

      Circling back to this idea that it should be OK for two homosexuals to just hold hands in the church. That’s no different than me committing adultery on my wife with another woman that I feel like I love, bringing that woman to church, and just holding her hand. Higher standard, what’s the big deal, or two consenting adults and all we’re doing is holding hands.

      Your debate is not with me. Your debate is with God. I’m translating exactly as I see it from the Scriptures. If you see a difference, you’re entitled to do so, and you’re also entitled to find a church that sees it your way. I’m guessing there are a few.

      Be that as it is, I made clear, as has God that, homosexuality is a forgivable sin. But when you flaunt it in His face you’re no different than a person doing a couple shots of whiskey or the man holding hands with his mistress and the local church. My biblical view. Do with it as you will.

      Let’s be willing to own our sin. I have plenty of sin. However, I don’t feel need to pound my chest and say God doesn’t care and I can even do it at church.

      • Barry Adams Posted November 3, 2022 11:13 am

        I see these differences of perspective as differences in language and understanding. I don’t shop for a church that supports my views, interpretations, and beliefs. I am looking at various interpretations so I can continue to build and strengthen my faith.

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